So I've been 30 for a little over a week and it feels pretty good. I got off to a rocky start but I think that I am getting the hang of this thing. I had been looking forward to 30 for quite sometime. The back end of my 20s had been tough. Losing a job (or two), almost losing my father, losing my brother to "the system", HPV, it's just been a lot.
It seemed like so many things had been going on and like I was almost spinning out of control. I just didn't know what to do. I was going to church, I had been praying, serving the Lord but things were still out of control. It just seems almost hopeless. It's almost like I wasn't joking when I said I was having a quarter life crisis. Just craziness.
I needed a change, I needed to get out of that 20s rut that I was in and I believed that turning 30 would solve it. So I tried to do everything that I could to get ready for 30. I wanted to have a party, I wanted to go on a trip - so many things that I wanted. It seems like things that you want, may not always be the things that you need. I wanted to go to Las Vegas (didn't happen), I wanted to go to Space Camp (hasn't happened yet), wanted to have a 30th birthday (hasn't happened yet) - just so many things that I wanted. But it seemed like the things that I wanted weren't what was for me and some times that's a hard pill to swallow.
So instead of doing some of the things that I "thought" I wanted to do for my birthday, I wasn't able to do. Some of that was my fault, I got caught up in some situations that I hadn't prepared for (have a plan). But there was some that disappointed me last week as I turned 30. If you know me, then you know that the ONLY day where I am hella extra is May 21. That is the only day that is for me. That day is the only one special to me. Sure other people may share my birthday, but it's still MY birthday. There were people who dropped the ball on that. Before I would have a serious problem with that. But now that I'm 30, I have another approach and another way to handle it. I will always celebrate, with or without someone. I spent the first couple of days of my life as a 30 year old big kickin' it all by myself! And I'm loving it. At first I was down, but I understand that things happen and I should do what I do anyway.
So for me turning 30 was a good turning point. I don't mind where I am right now. Things aren't ideal, but they are. I am on a good side of the living and things are good. We're going to get it! You just don't know...