Monday, October 25, 2010

First Impressions, Being Mean, Offering Advice and Good Intentions

So I had a situation today. I offered someone some advice about their resume. My intention was to offer feedback. Not to be mean, not to hurt feelings but to offer constructive criticism. Apparently I was hard about it. So I did what I always do, I get another opinion or opinions. The bestie said I was a little harsh, the neighbor said not so much, the work BFF said I was on point. Now my thing is this - I know how I receive certain information. Knowing this about myself, I am very cautious about how I say things to people. I have never received criticism well, constructive or otherwise. My feedback wasn't received well. In fact, the person has not spoken to me since this AM. I sent a follow up email apologizing for my actions and saying that from now on I will keep my feedback to myself. But this started something else. Footnote: apparently I suffered from foot and mouth syndrome today. I said something to someone else that was misinterpreted. I don't know if I cleaned that up either. But at least he's speaking to me. 

So I ask the receptionist at work if I was mean. She said no, but she thought that I was mean when she first started. I was a little offended but then I asked her was I mean or was it that we just didn't know each other. She said that she didn't know but we're cool now. I don't remember how I was to her when she first started but I know it wasn't my intention to be mean. 

Now I know this has a lot to do about feeling and perception, as well as honesty and truth. I will apologize if I hurt your feelings but at the same time I won't feel bad about telling you the truth. Hopefully you can respect that perspective. I am not a mean person. I am not a mean spirited person. I'm too sensitive to be that. Even when cracking jokes, I try not to go too far because if it comes back on me I'm gonna get butt hurt. And it takes NOTHING for me to start crying. So I'm not going to do anything that would make them cry. My intentions most of the time are good. I don't intentionally try to hurt anyone or go out of my way to be mean. That's just not me. 

But as I said before, I'm just a soul who's intentions are good. Oh Lord please don't let me be misunderstood. If you don't get the reference, watch this video