Sunday, May 31, 2009

Real Quick - I Think I Get It

So you may know that my father had a heart attack some time ago and it really has taken a toll on him, emotionally and physically. It is great having him home versus having him home versus having to go visit him at the hospital or the rehab center.

Recently, my dad bought me a laptop for my 30th birthday (yay - I haven't been able to keep my hands off of it, except now - I am using his - it makes sense to us.) Today when I got home from running around, I wanted to go upstairs and relax, but my dad wanted me to hang out with him. I told him that I had some work to do, which technically I did but he just wanted to hand out. And I kinda now why. He doesn't feel like he has much more time with us, especially after what happened. While I was upstairs in my apartment, I realized that there will be more times when I can hang our by myself, but my dad's time is limited. So for now, I'll (kinda) put what I have going on, on hold to hang out with my dad. I think I get it. He just wants to hang out. Okay, Dad - we'll watch TV. I love you, Dad.

Friday, May 29, 2009

Camille Harvey....on Friday Nights

It's interesting. I was putting together a quiz on Facebook (my not so secret addiction) and I put two questions on there which show a little bit about how I've changed in my "old" age. The questions talk about where you could find me on a Friday night. From 1999 to 2002, you could find me at someone's club (most likely at Republic Gardens - my FAVORITE night time spot of all time) with my drink and my two step. It was a great time. I have many, many fond memories of Republic. Just thinking about it right now brings a smile to my face, Republic was a great time out. My, my, my those were the days. The party was crackin' nothin' like the DC club scene.

Fast forward to 2005. I move back home, to the old stomping grounds. I must confess, the DC club scene is much better than the Bay Area Club scene - or at least what I've been exposed to. I don't really like going out in the City, some of the places that I liked going in Oakland either are shut down or just don't crack like they used to (or how I feel like they used to) - it's just not it. I'm sitting here thinking, trying to understand why. (that's my thing, trying to understand) I try to understand why things are so drastically different. I know that one of the reasons why thngs are so different is that I don't have the same kind of friends here at home as I did when I was in DC. But I don't know if that will change me from doing some things differently.

Instead of spending my Friday nights, drinking and dancing, I now, spend my Friday nights at choir rehearsal. And truth be told, it's a great time out. Tonight, Sweet Pea was rehearsing her solo for Sunday's service. She was in to it, the choir was in to it, Myles the drummer was into it - for a split second, I almost forgot that I was at church. Time and time again, I get to rehearsal and when we're not getting fussed at by our director, I have a great time. Even though I am not a songstress by any stretch of the imagination (I would say that I'm a better dancer than I am a singer), there is something so powerful that happens more times than not at choir rehearsal. It's better than any quick fix high that I get from the club. It is me and my service to the Lord, practicing my ministry weekly and having the Spirit move through me twice a week. It's a good feeling, and it's how I spend my Friday nights.

*Footnote - I want to be clear. Even though I spend the majority of my Friday nights at rehearsal - I still like to get my drink and my two step and I usually do if I don't have rehearsal or after rehearsal. Does that make me a hypocrite? Maybe, but that'll be for another blog at another time*

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Camille Harvey...on Turning 30

So I've been 30 for a little over a week and it feels pretty good. I got off to a rocky start but I think that I am getting the hang of this thing. I had been looking forward to 30 for quite sometime. The back end of my 20s had been tough. Losing a job (or two), almost losing my father, losing my brother to "the system", HPV, it's just been a lot.

It seemed like so many things had been going on and like I was almost spinning out of control. I just didn't know what to do. I was going to church, I had been praying, serving the Lord but things were still out of control. It just seems almost hopeless. It's almost like I wasn't joking when I said I was having a quarter life crisis. Just craziness.

I needed a change, I needed to get out of that 20s rut that I was in and I believed that turning 30 would solve it. So I tried to do everything that I could to get ready for 30. I wanted to have a party, I wanted to go on a trip - so many things that I wanted. It seems like things that you want, may not always be the things that you need. I wanted to go to Las Vegas (didn't happen), I wanted to go to Space Camp (hasn't happened yet), wanted to have a 30th birthday (hasn't happened yet) - just so many things that I wanted. But it seemed like the things that I wanted weren't what was for me and some times that's a hard pill to swallow.

So instead of doing some of the things that I "thought" I wanted to do for my birthday, I wasn't able to do. Some of that was my fault, I got caught up in some situations that I hadn't prepared for (have a plan). But there was some that disappointed me last week as I turned 30. If you know me, then you know that the ONLY day where I am hella extra is May 21. That is the only day that is for me. That day is the only one special to me. Sure other people may share my birthday, but it's still MY birthday. There were people who dropped the ball on that. Before I would have a serious problem with that. But now that I'm 30, I have another approach and another way to handle it. I will always celebrate, with or without someone. I spent the first couple of days of my life as a 30 year old big kickin' it all by myself! And I'm loving it. At first I was down, but I understand that things happen and I should do what I do anyway.

So for me turning 30 was a good turning point. I don't mind where I am right now. Things aren't ideal, but they are. I am on a good side of the living and things are good. We're going to get it! You just don't know...

A Little Inspiration

Well I know it's been a while since I've blogged. I need to find one space and just blog there. I post a few blogs here, a few blogs (notes) there...nothing consistent. But since I have my new laptop (thanks Dad), I should be better at blogging. If my phone would allow me to blog on this website, I might be able to do it, but alas, it's not there yet. I'm just so happy that I got a laptop, I feel like I have a whole new world that's opened up to me. I've nagged my dad for AGES about getting me a laptop (he's the one who buys me the bigger ticket items - my computers, my TVs - I bought my car) and he came through in the clutch for my 30th birthday. I'm really happy about my laptop - it's a little heavy so I won't be taking it everywhere, especially since most of the places that I go already have computers and I have a "smartphone" which allows me some additional freedoms but having this small but big gift has given me just enough inspiration. I'm excited.